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News From an Over-excitable Parent

Hey gang!

     Anne Beaumont here. That's right, it's time for another newsletter on the most recent happenings with my wittle snuggley wuggums himself, Jason Beaumont!

      Jason is almost 22 months old now! Can you believe it? He's sleeping 9.5 hours every night, unless he has gas. That's exactly 0.8 hours longer than a year ago. I called my peditrician to let her know but she blew me off. Oh well, I'll call her again tomorrow.

       Bad news-he won't eat peas anymore! Or apple sauce unless Mommy's prayed over it for his IQ. That's ok. Despite what his pediatrician says, my little republican is big enough to make his own decisions about what to eat. He's doing great with the cheatos! I moved the cat's litter box into the garage.

     He's so smart. Yesterday he took off his own dirty diaper all by himself and put it on the Smith's 2 year old's head who just cried. He's way smarter than the Smith kid. He's so smart he can even dial the pediatrician's phone number all by himself and bring the phone to mommy. Who showed him that?! I read Tolstoy to him at night and he falls asleep dreaming about quantum mechanics and all the money he'll make for mommy at tennis.

      I think my pediatrician is sick or something. I took little Jason-wummy-tummy to see her yesterday on account the babysitter said he belched and I wanted to make sure he didn't have meningitis or something. My pediatrician told me I'd already been in twice that day then she turned red and threw up. It's probably just a virus or something. Oh well, I'll probably just call her tonight to check in.

                                                   Yours,

                                                           Anne Beaumont

                      Letter from the Editor.

  Hello and welcome to Hippocritis (pron. sfinktor)- a website for all things medically humorous.   Because your weary noggin needs soothing.

        Consider this.  By the time you finish training you will have spent one third of your life contemplating things like diarrhea.  When you need to take your mind off poo, this is where to do it. We guarantee 35% less poo material than we initially intended to publish.

       The content of this edition relies heavily on the experiences and imagination of the three of us .   However, it is our intention that much of the content in future editions will be provided by you, the reader. 

      We know  you have needs . So each useable submission will be rewarded with underwear that has something like “I submitted to Hippocritis and all I got was the clap” printed across the bum. 

     So finish that disimpaction, wash the MRSA from your hands, crack open a stolen soda and poke around our site.  Remember, you need your peers' approval on a personal level to make you happy. And that's what submitting to Hippocritis is all about. To submit, click on the “ Submissions ” link and send us your stuff. 

                                                                                   Sincerely

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